There are times I wonder about myself

Today is one of them. When I was a teen I was moody, given to quickly alternating bouts of anger and extreme sadness. I cried daily from both emotions.
The good news is my family were thick skinned and not inclined to take me out back and put me out of their misery. This gave me time to get my head out of the place it was firmly lodged and grow up a bit. I'm happy to say most of my loved ones now like me.
However, there are certain occasions where I feel deja-vou-flashbacky things from those awful years and I want to whine and yell "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"
Not such a great gut instinct when caring for small children, something about teaching by example. Meh.
Oh, can't forget my favorite part of this rewind from hell .... It comes once a month and brings a gluttonous appetite with it. I suddenly crave Slim Jims, ice cream, and Little Debbie. All of which draws a range of responses from shuddering to a flat out NO. Sometimes a dirty look with a lifted eyebrow.
It came early.
Usually I prep for it by stocking up on seriously yummy, more healthful alternatives to the junk I jones for. If you knew that for one week a month you would pack away empty, preservative and sugar laden calories like a starving badger wouldn't you do something to avoid the majority of the damage? It came early and I'm broke and unprepared. Oh, the cravings and horror. I'm an emotional train wreck with self esteem issues, swollen feet, and an untrustworthy desire to eat anything that smells good. God help you if you're wearing a body spray or perfume that reminds me of cotton candy, apples, or vanilla frosted cupcakes.
To direct my scattered thoughts Im knitting a sock. Hopefully when I'm done there will be two almost similar socks but I'm not holding out hope. If I get antsy I'll check Facebook to see what my friends are up to... Which is why I'm up at midnight looking for shoes online. Not just any shoes, the ones I already own.
A friend of mine is very feminie, all tiny and cute and does things with hair, makeup, and shoes. Recently having discovered that I myself am a girl, I'm taking an interest in such thing so when she posted a picture of the shoes she just bought I HAD to comment. She replied that she is going to have to learn to walk in them, which reminded me of a pair of nosebleed inducing heels that I learned to stilt around on last summer. Here's a helpful high heeled hint you won't get from Heloise; if your feet get dry in the summer and you like to wear shoes that allow you to gather cloud cover around your ears, don't, I emphasize DO NOT lotion your dry feet. Either you will simply slide right out of those puppy's and clatter to an sexy pile on the ground from an awful height or your shoes will be reinforced skillfully enough to stop you by cramming your 5 toes into one large lump in the tip of your shoe and causing numbness and tingling that will last for days.
I thought maybe my blog had a picture of my deadly sexy high heeled platform strappy shoes from hell. I did a search and though I found nothing, I realized how long it had been since I really posted here.
I think I'm a little unhinged, but in a cute, endearing way right?
You know you love me.