Life Likes Curveballs

As a child, I never thought Santa was real so I was spared that disillusion. But I remember clearly the day I learned that old people die. The idea that someday I would lose my grandparents had me in deep fear and tears for days. Nanny and Dandad mean the world to me and the fear of losing them haunted me every day after my childhood revelation.
I grew up, moved out, fell in love and married. I became a mom three times and we bought our own home. I came to visit every 2-3 months and did everything I could to make sure they knew how much I love them and that they are important to me. When Dandad got diagnosis of emphysema, I was so scared of losing him but I was told he could last for his natural lifetime. Before I could really some to terms with it, he got pneumonia and was nearly lost. While he was in the hospital it was discovered that the scattered thoughts and confusion he had weren't oxygen deprivation but Alzheimers.
I spent all the time I could with him before he was lost in his own mind, giving my children as much of a chance as possible to form memories of him. It was so hard being there, KNOWING he knew what was happening, feeling that every moment with him had to count forever. Even more difficult was when he was in the transition between being himself most of the time and knowing what was going on to no longer even being aware that he wasn't himself.
James Malcolm Fulton, 79, passed on Valentine's Day. On Thursday was his funeral and burial. The service was emotional and teary eyed, so many people loved and respected him. The burial was moving, too. I collected shells from the 21 gun salute to keep as a memento and to give to my sons when they get older.
He was a wonderful man and helped make me the person I am and I will be forever thankful that I had him as long as I did.