My kids are getting so big, I stop during my day sometimes and just look t them. I have a hard time finding the tiny infants I brought home, the excited baby, the chubby face crawlers. Even my youngest is getting so independent and individual that I am starting to feel redundant. I suppose my oldest child being 6 and a half and so tall and my youngest weaning himself has made me feel a bit nostalgic.
My sister in law just had a baby boy and he is adorable. My sister is having a little boy as well, in only a handful of weeks. Every so often I call her for updates and yesterday she told me she had decided on a name for her little one. My reaction? I felt like crying. I adore babies... I like kids if they aren't too annoying, but I learned a long time ago I like MY kids, not every kid, but I really love babies. Every last one of them. It makes me proud to see the children my boys are becoming but sad to lose the beautiful round, giggling babies that need me and don't mind cuddling. I didn't realize how much I would feel the loss of the constant touching of newborn til crawling ages.. til they didn't want held anymore. Sadly, I have been holding the kittens tons more than I would have before because they let me cradle them. Pathetic, right?
Sigh. Time's unceasing march forward has been emphasized lately in the form of my grandparents as well. Dandad is barely there sometimes adn he has stopped recognizing me on the phone. I wish I could go see him more but we can't afford it and the weather tends to prohibit travel for a good half the year here.
My grandmother has been going through some hard stuff as well. So many problems, serious ones and she can't get any answers. She is reduced to not walking now, in constant pain, using a walker and a bedside commode and still the doctors can't help her. She has been so negative, talking about not wanting to keep going if this is her life from here on out.I need as much good news as I can get right now.