I've been away an awful lot

As a result of being away so much I have been neglecting my poor blog. I went down to Medford for my uncle Jim's wedding and then I went back the next weekend for my cousin Carla's visit. Jim was something of a woman hater so it was a shock that he fell in love and wanted to be married again... I couldn't miss that, could I? Carla hasn't been here since August 2002 and had never met my kids, and in the time since I saw her last she has been married and pregnant, now she has a husband, 2 step daughters and a baby girl I was dying to meet so I HAD to go back again. Of course, I couldn't drop in and go so I stayed a whole week. It was wonderful and tiring and I loved it.
I barely seem to find the time to get online anymore and I really should since it's an integral part of my crochet business. Getting THAT off the ground has been proving harder than I thought. Sigh. I'll persevere and who knows, maybe something good will happen.
While I was away for the week, Mike hired his nieces to clean the house before I got home. It was AWESOME!! He found a tall shelf for the towels in the bathroom and a nightstand for my side of the bed (both of which are things I've been trying to get for a while) so I was really pleased to come home. Guys who might possibly be reading my blog- this is a GREAT surprise gift. Keep it in mind, file it away in your mental records under Things I Can Do To Gain Points.
All of this business seems to involve other people. That doesn't seem like a bad thing, but I have hermitous tendencies and living so far away from family and not having many friends allows me to revert a bit. I get nervous. As a result, I talk about myself in glowing terms for a greatly extended period of time. I irritate the crap out of myself but I can't seem to stop. It's horrible. I can only hope that the people who already know me well understand what's going on and forgive me, and that the people I have only recently met or have budding friendships with will tolerate me til I am comfortable enough to quit being a jackass.

Beat It Bug Spray give away

My friend Michelle, owner of R.G.Natural Babies, is hosting give away for a natural, deet-free bug spray. My poor kids have been eaten alive by critters this year; check out the picture of my middle son

It's an uncomfortable visual of how bad it gets. I avoid sunscreen and bug spray as much as I can because I don't want to expose my children to too many chemical sunless I have to, but the natural stuff I've used before doesn't have the same effectiveness as the nasty chemical laden stuff.
The reviews I've seen for the Beat It bug spray revived my hopes of finding a natural way to keep my kids from being insect pin-cushions. I hope I win the give away!
Go here to enter the give away yourself and good luck!

I love food

Seen me in person? Then you know I mean it. I don't just love the way it tastes, I love how the change of seasons influences a change in menu. Tonight was sun tea, grilled boneless pork chops, lemon spinach cous cous, and fresh baby greens from my sister's garden. Did I mention my sister is 18? She rocks and they were sooo good. Even my little one's ate every bite.
Mmmmm. Just typing it reminds me of how good it was.
I tend to bake for my family when I go back to visit and this time was no exception. I made chewy cookies before going down - snickerdoodles, molasses, and chocolate chip. Then while I was there, Nanny commented that her bananas were getting too old to eat and said "I'd like them made into muffins in the morning". She didn't hint or even insist, she simply tossed me an order and expected it to be obeyed. LOL. She's getting to be bit of a tartar but I like to see that more than the weepy, lost woman she was earlier this year.
So I made 2 dozen muffins and for good measure, two loaves of banana bread as well. I figured it would last her til I come back next weekend. Maybe next time she'll demand cinnamon rolls or brioche.
It makes me feel like I'm helping out when I come to see them and bake, or clean, or just spend time talking or listening. (in reality, just talking. I never completely stop doing that)
I sat tonight and watched my kids eat and felt all happy inside. My 5 year old makes yumming noises when he likes something, so I knew he wasn't faking. The 7 year old ate everything, and the nearly-3 year old had 2nds. Twice.


Onward from here is just stuff from my life, not a coherent part of the conversation I had started with. Sorry if it makes no sense!
Our pets have been fighting fleas and losing. *I* fought them and lost, but my husband and children paid the price. I am unscathed while they have red marks on their legs - torso and arms as well, for the children who come sleep on my floor with the animals. We tried flea collars with no result. Baths, too. (OW. Ever tried to give a fully grown female Siamese her first bath?)We tried sprays and powders and nothing helped. The kids look like they have a case of chicken pox and my poor Hawkeye started losing her fur and running a fever, lumps formed on her jaw and neck where she scratched herself raw. She stopped being friendly or cuddly and ran from everyone, flinching if you reached to her. Last thing we tried were those drops that go between the cat's shoulderblades and the next morning she seemed calmer, after a week her fur was laying down and getting smooth again. We came home from our weekend away to find her sleeping in the open on a chair, no fever in sight, calm loving, snuggly demeanor, silky fur, and the lumps were fading. Oh, thank goodness! I thought I was going to lose her. Still has fleas, but they aren't making her crazy anymore.
Of course, this would also be mosquito season, so my boy-children are covered in welts from those as well. They look horrible.

Busy Summer, isn't it?

It seemed like we waited months for sun to come out way again. In June when we were getting our van packed to go to the airport, we did so through snow fall. No joke.
We all wanted warmth and fun and greenery again. It finally came and suddenly I relived what happened every year, sunshine brings extra work and play so everyone is busybusybusy. That means I get busy too, or I end up lonely. Ugh.
Usually we get to see my family 4 times a year or so. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but most of it happens in the nicer weather..... or at least, I meant weather that doesn't risk our van sliding on black ice, off a hillside and being buried in so much snow that we won't be seen til August. Really, the roads are well tended in the cold months and the 2 months that there isn't snow, it stays light til 9:30 pm so we can avoid most of the dangers.
This year we started out cold and missed spring altogether, so when we could we jumped on the chance to go see everyone. It just so happens, that opportunity came when my uncle announced he was getting married.
Say WHAAAAAA?

You'd have to have met my uncle to understand my shock and disbelief. I thought I was being punk'd at first. he was married when I was little, he had a wife and two sons. We played together, lived close by, I remember hot summer nights on the porch listening to all my uncles and dad play guitars and sing. I loved those times. Then the two boys and Aunt disappeared and I heard later when I grew up enough to understand, that they had divorced. Bitterly. Cousins moved away and uncle spent a lot of time drunk, living in a sad, angry, poor way and spouting off drunken crap when he came around. His two favorite subjects were race and women.
To hear that he had mellowed and changed, fell in love and wanted to get married? Blew me away.
We went to the wedding and he managed to dispel the shock when he insulted me, then he took his teeth out and relaxed, dressing down for the reception in a black wife-beater and blue running shorts. I hope he's going to spend the next 50 years a happy man. His new bride seems lovely. Grandma cried.
We spent more of our weekend visiting with my Nanny. Since she lost Dandad on Valentines Day this year, she's been sad and needy, dramatic often and scared to be alone. We spend as much time as we can with her, trying to remind her that she is still loved and has family that will be there for her no matter what. She has my mom and brother and his wife, but I guess living moments from them at all times isn't enough. Either that, or the old adage that familiarity breeds contempt is true after all. Maybe she takes them for granted, but they do everything for her. They are always grateful for our visits, though, it distracts nanny from needing constant undivided attention from them as well as gives her a boost emotionally. Noise and great grandkids can do that :)
We didn't actually get to see my dad and his family much, which was a bit disappointing. We saw them at the wedding, but that wasn't really the right setting for our usual family antics, lol, so we held off and then we left 3-4 hours too late in the day to spend too much time with them before we had to hit the road.
Originally, our plan was to see family last month, have a great garage cleaning and sorting for a couple of weeks, a garage sale for the next couple of weekends, and then go see family again. Things change, we learn to roll with it. We saw family and while we were there we heard about my uncle's nuptials. It was informal and planned for , drumroll... two weeks away. OK, we can work the budget to afford an extra trip. Then I hear that my cousin (totally different part of the tree) is coming out to see everyone for the first time in 8 years. She has two older teens boys, recently got married and became mom to two tween girls and then gave birth to a little girl, as well. Last time I saw her, I didn't realize I was pregnant and she's never seen my kids. Wow, what a shocker of a realization.
Of course, I can't miss this visit - but it comes ONE WEEK after the wedding. It falls on a new payday, so we can manage, but not by much.
I got home at 2 am yesterday and will spend the next 4 days doing laundry, cleaning the house, and generally getting ready to pack us all up for another weekend away.
Plans change again. (did you see me slump?) My cousin is taking her time on her way out here, which is smart with a 5 month old, but she called my Nanny a couple hours before I left for hom to say that she isn't showing up til Sunday/Monday of the next week. That means I'll be leaving again before she GETS there, forget talking at all! So Nanny insists that they will find a way to make it work.
FFWD to now. The plan is that Mike and the kids an I are going down this weekend, again, but my dad is fixing Mike's Suburban for him to drive home on Sunday while the kids and I keep the van and stay the whole week.
I hope this all works.

Starting over

I had been doing fairly well with my little business of crochet... til I had my youngest child. Understandably I was wrapped up in him, but my business suffered. I want so badly to make money from home, I don't want to leave my kids and I would like getting a night job to be a last resort. Crochet is what I love and I am really good at it, I just suck at managing a business.
I placed a couple of ads in Craigslist and in my Melanie's Closet Project Blog in hopes of garnering interest. I also brought it up to the wonderful women on my forum, Granola Chicks. There are many at-home moms and small business operators on there and I am hoping for advice and possibly a referral or two.
I don't need much, just about $250 a month would be perfect. I am also going to be looking up information on business management and accounting. I need to be better equipped for this job or I'll fail again.
It feels so difficult and I know it's ignorance of proper business and fear or failure that make it seem so hard. I have to do something and I would love to make Melanie's Closet a success.
I don't have many readers here, but if you see this and happen to have advice for me or if you're in need of crochet, send me an email or post a comment. And thanks in advance for the help!
I've tried Mary Kay and that was a huge bust. I also applied to ChaCha and they asked me not to reapply, lol, so I assume I wasn't a sparkling example of what they were looking for in an employee. I'm simple and hard working, I am too blunt and honest for sales, and I don't want to leave my kids. Why can't I find a job that works for me?

I got sunshine!

Today I woke at 5 am to see the sun peeping over the horizon with an orange glow.I looked warm,it should have been cozy... it was cold. Brrr, chilly,enough that I turned up the heaters. No one likes to wake to a frozen nose and ears. By noon, it was hot and sunny and simply gorgeous, so we did what any good loving parents would -we shoved them outside and shut the door. Well...not completely. I went out and took some pictures and enjoyed the sun,too. They also got Otter Pops. Yum. See, I'm still a good mom.
I am so so so so so to see sun. That may come as a surprise since I tend to hiss in direct sunlight, but even people like me need warmth and a little UV action. The birds singing, plants green and blooming, my kids playing in the sun and not wearing coats. Good times.
I stopped exercising a month ago since I was hurting, but I am not seeing it get better any time soon and I have managed to hold my weight steady but that might not last, so I am going back to walking every day. I missed the activity,the feeling of health that came along with it and the good habits it was instilling in my children.
I'm going to take it a little easier on myself than I did before, I'm aiming for activity, not sweating bullets and hurting myself. I would love a bike to ride or a way to go on those gorgeously long walks I used to love.
Back to the point! I m going to be getting active again and I hope to lose about 10 pounds. That should get me to nearly a 22, at least a small 24. I'd be pleased with that.

the things that happen

I have been trying to get healthier and the road has gotten rough a few times. Bouts of insomnia, falling off the wagon in regards to food or soda, pneumonia, travel, you name it. Sometimes the rough spots in the road damage my willpower and I eat more than I should of things I shouldn't, sometimes I'm not able to work out or be active.
As a result, I've lost roughly 30 lbs in the last year, but it was all 6 months or more ago. Since then, I have held steady at 285 pounds.The good news is that I'm still a size 24 and I feel more fit than I have in years. The bad news is that I'm not losing anything.
During my recent vacation to Florida I had alcohol and desserts every day as well as soda and sweet tea. Thankfully the immense amount of walking I did daily countered it and I held steady.
I also stopped my daily workout a few weeks ago as a last ditch effort to figure out why my period stopped. Since it doesn't seem to have been the miracle fix to the problem, I'm back to the daily exercise. I'm also going to be watching my intake again (stopped for a while)
My hips and pelvis were hating me a lot for all the work I was putting them through so I finally took Mike up on his offer to go to his chiropractor for an adjustment. Sure enough, there was a significant height difference, my right being 1 1/2 inches higher. The doctor said he could fix that through a few smaller adjustments over time, but he was unhappy about my answers to his questions so he gave me a further examination. From that, he tells me there is a very high likelihood I have something called myofascial pain syndrome. Never heard of it before he mentioned it so I looked it up when I got home and wow, it's sucky. Almost as sucky as the painful,painful examination.
That was Tuesday and I have another appointment for Friday and again Monday. In the meantime- I have a cold. Yay.
Today I am starting over, back to eating healthier, being active, and drinking more water. I need to lose about 30 pounds to be back to my average adult weight and right now that is my aim. After I reach that I'll take a good hard look and decide if I should keep going.